Ciao MLM,
don't worry, you posted fine! you could have created a new thread too by clicking on "+ start new thread" at the top of the main forum but this works too!
Yes, don't worry about the sights just yet, first try to figure out your destinations.
I assume you're flying to Venice and flying out of Rome to make your itinerary work better. You definitely need to stay central to make the most of your time. For hotels in Venice,
search here.
you definitely want something central to make it easy to get to as well as move around. From Venice you can catch a fast train to Florence (there is
www.trenitalia.com as well as the new Italo company that is now competing with the national rail company and have very interesting ticket rates, so check them both out -
http://www.italotreno.it/en/).
The same goes for Rome -
search here for hotels in Rome, and the train schedules above to see what times are good for you.
As far as Pompeii goes from Rome, an organized tour is your best bet - the distance is about 250 km and trying to do it on your own with public transportation requires a lot of planning and organization. Take a look at
this tour for example. There are many companies offering these tours so with a bit of research you can find one you like.
Coming back to Tuscany, if your husband isn't keen on driving, then he doesn't have to. But for 6 days, you have too many places listed and you'll need to make a selection.
From Venice, go to Florence - spend at least 2 days here.
Use Florence as your base - one day head to Siena, another to San Gimignano. Volterra would be doable with bus from Siena, so another possibility is to head to Siena for 2 days and use that as your base to visit Volterra and San Gimignano, on two separate days..... see, we're already at 5 days (2 for Florence, 1 each for Siena, SG and Volterra.
You can try to do the day in Pisa before heading to Siena or if you continue to use Florence as your base it will be easy to get there from Florence.
Cinque Terre are a bit out of your way once you're in Tuscany (takes about 2.5-3 hrs to get there by train from Florence. So I'd leave them out.... if you leave Pisa to your last day, you can head down to Rome directly from there rather than returning to Florence.
So you CAN see what's on your list of places without a car, you already have a good base of places covered and doable so far, don't try to fit too many more in because you're already doing 3 cities and a whole region (Tuscany) in 11 days.
Others off your list would require a car in any case! One you have your days somewhat set, you should check out the Tuscany Accommodation link in my signature to start looking at accommodation in Tuscany